Voice stuff on two levels:
(1) It'd be really nice to be able to video blog/voice record without having to have the microphone gain and volume set up all the way to capture front voice and the enunciation.
December Blogging Meme Masterpost (LJ)
Moonpie: YAY! Grass!
Me: C'mon, we're on our way home now!
Moonpie: Sure, sure, but hold on, I gotta roll around here.
Moonpie: Busy flopping around like a dead fish!
Me: Indeed, you are.
Moonpie: LIKE A DEAD FISH!!!!
Finn: Smells good. Maybe I should take a leak.
Moonpie: LIKE A DEAD FISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We did eventually get home, where I found out that when Eva agreed to take out the compost for me in exchange for $7, she actually just dumped it on the ground sort of near the compost bin instead of actually in the bin. She's not getting her $7, and I don't care what she says, that's plenty fair.
While trust is inherited, distrust is not: study
Massive, ‘Dead’ Galaxy Puzzles Astronomers
Bioengineers create more durable, versatile wearable for diabetes monitoring
Legal or not, more American women are opting for abortion by medication. We asked doctors: How safe is it?
Self-folding origami: Chemical programming allows Nafion sheets to fold and refold
A Better Touch Screen, Inspired by Moth Eyes
Scientists spy on the secret inner life of bacteria
Sea sponges stay put with anchors that bend but don't break
Some clouds are full of little lollipop-shaped ice crystals
How did bird babysitting co-ops evolve?
Why Do Bird Eggs Come in So Many Shapes?
Saying 'climate change' instead of 'global warming' decreases partisan gap by 30 percent in U.S.
Wave beams mix and stir the ocean to create climate
Are you forgetful? That's just your brain erasing useless memories
Cancer cells may streamline their genomes in order to proliferate more easily
This glass frog wears its heart for all to see
How a wildfire kicked up a 45,000-foot column of flames
A 100-year-old physics problem has been solved
She's been wanting lots of hugs and cuddling and reassurance that I'll always be there for her. She's also afraid any time she lets herself stop and think (mostly in the evenings). Her days have been pretty full, but she comes home and tells me that, even though she had fun, she missed me horribly. I think she's got some sort of worry that, if she's not checking up on me regularly, I'll just vanish.
I finally listened to the voicemail Cordelia's psychiatrist left. She says that the Celexa ought to stay at a steady level for twenty four hours on a single dose and that this may mean the dose is too low. Cordelia is afraid of upping the dose because she's connected her tiredness to the medication. I need to call the doctor back on Monday to discuss it.
Cordelia has more or less mastered swallowing small pills. Last night, she asked what I take for cramps, and I gave her a naproxen. It took her two swallows to get it down, but she did, and she was astonished to discover that it did help.
Her report card came today. It's all A's with an A+ in gym and an A- in algebra. Cordelia's of the opinion that they can't have counted the algebra final in that grade because she thinks that would have taken her down to B+ or even B range. I can't tell from PowerSchool whether or not she's right. It doesn't actually matter. B grades are good, too, and that particular class has been nasty for all the students due to the teacher not being very good.
Scott had to work 3 a.m. to 7 a.m. today. We got a call from the shift supervisor about half an hour after Scott went to bed. The guy wanted to make sure Scott knew he had to come in. He kept stumbling over what he was saying and talking in circles. I'm pretty sure that he had a script in mind for the call and that I blew it up by saying that Scott was in bed and couldn't come to the phone. Scott identified the caller simply based on my description of the guy's confusion.
I ended up staying up a bit later than I meant to because the writing was working well. For some reason, just the thought of needing to go to bed makes me able to produce words and plot and all of that. I think I slept a solid eight hours once I did go to bed, so there's that. I kind of want to go back to bed, though.
Scott has Monday scheduled off because it's our anniversary. I have a couple of minor errands that will be much easier if someone gives me a ride, so we'll deal with those. The rest of the day is ours. Cordelia is now saying that Scott and I should celebrate however we want, including without her, because it's our day. (She said something on the order of "I wasn't involved in your wedding.") This is a change from years past. I don't know that we'll leave her at home, but it's nice that, if we did, she'd be okay with it.
Which that isn't really rational. I don't know any of you, so if you decide you're not into me, how is that abandoning me?
While I have not been posting here, I have been doing a lot of research and reading and thinking about complex PTSD, and I think I'm starting to make some real progress on understanding it and on rewiring things a little bit in my brain. Like, you know, coming to some sort of uneasy peace with the idea that strangers online may decide that they're not into me for whatever reason and that's okay, and that it's not a replay of past hardcore abandonment.
If I am going to start really using this blog, here's something to help you decide if you want to clear out now. I will sometimes post about giftedness.
Which, again, this is also progress with the complex PTSD, finally realizing that if people get all mad when I bring that up, it's not a personal judgement on me and a replay of past hardcore stalking and attacking and mobbing. It's that everyone has different experiences and different levels of knowledge and different conceptions of reality and society and how things work and different backgrounds, and that I can't do anything about someone who has some very deeply embedded prejudices or personal hurt around that topic that is based in experiences that I had nothing to do with and that I can't do anything about, and so their rejection of me because I sometimes talk about that topic is not a personal attack or a reflection on me.
Yay I am developing boundaries! :) Well, I have been doing that ever since the ulcer in 2011, but I'm making a lot of progress in it right now, I think.
Speaking of which, in a few weeks it will be the sixth anniversary of Almost Died But Didn't Day. Hmmm. What do I want to do for it this year?
On the upside - or, shall I say, the bright side - we all loathe that light fixture. It only takes two bulbs and the cover over the bulbs means we're cooking in the dim all the time.
'Superhero' 3D printed hands help kids dream in Argentina (I bet!)
All the Animals That Love Touchscreens
Georgia Sheriff To Cut Sentences For Inmates Who Saved Correctional Officer
On the trail with Cambodia's tarantula hunters
As drought looms, could this team of scientists prove cloud seeding works?
How Animals Develop Regional Accents
A surgeon’s secret: As she operated on babies’ birth defects, a doctor hid her own diagnosis
A School That Provides The One Constant In Homeless Children's Lives
Pride and prejudice? Race tinges LGBT celebrations
Supreme Court limits government's power to revoke citizenship
Where Street Vendors Run Pharmacies Out of Buckets
Military heads want transgender enlistment hold
A daily conundrum in convulsed Venezuela: will my kids make it to school?
Solar’s rise lifted these blue-collar workers. Now they’re worried about Trump
Senate GOP releases bill to cut Medicaid, alter 'Obamacare'
Children of Islamic State militants in Libya reunite with families in Khartoum
'Buried alive': the old men stuck in Britain’s prisons
Coffee under threat. Will it taste worse as the planet warms?
Ethiopia's Coffee Farmers Are 'On The Front Lines Of Climate Change'
Mounting evidence that Trump’s election was aided by Russian interference presents a challenge to the American system of government—with lasting consequences for democracy.
Rigged: Forced into debt. Worked past exhaustion. Left with nothing.
When the man who abuses you is also a cop.
How totalism works
Trained to Kill: How Four Boy Soldiers Survived Boko Haram (Skip this article if you have a sensitive stomach.)
Categories of people my fellow volunteer S and I talked to, in decreasing order of number:
- People who just wanted to know what we were about - we're a safe place for queer kids to be together, basically, plus activities, and a few social services. I got the impression that there are people who instantly understand the value of a safe space by and for queers, and there are people who don't. I'll give you one guess as to the queerness of each group.
- People who wanted to volunteer! I only had a handful of paper applications, so I sent people to the web site and handed out volunqueer coordinator B's business card liberally.
- People who wanted to know how the fund raising is going. Many people knew about the eleventh-hour loan we got last year and the consequent capital campaign. I know what's going on with that better than most volunteers by virtue of hanging out with the director to do reports, but even I don't know much. I do know that we need six- or better yet seven-figure donations in the next few years if we want to keep our house.
- One therapist. I got to give him the special clipboard.
I got mysteriously cold after the sun went down, possibly a blood sugar crash from the absurdly early dinner I ate so I could be on time. S took pity on me, saying she'd tear down - I'd done most of the setup after literally running down the questionably parked B, who's no good at giving directions. I administered Molly Moon's ice cream and warm Guinness at the Merc immediately, but I completely struck out at finding anybody I knew who wanted to party on the Hill last night. Even the young Burning Man campmates I ran into were calling it quits early. Weird.
Picked up Saga, vol. 2 - so much tasty plot! - and came home to m'boy, was reminded how much I don't miss his clutter & mess in my apartment, and went to bed.
Today's plan: work out, get gussied up, Greenwood car show & pizza with m'boy, hit the Hill for the street fair & dyke march, and the Siberian Siren's party. If you want to meet up with me, late afternoon is your best bet.
I mean, leaving Britain is something I've been wanting to do quite badly for exactly a year - waking up to the Brexit referendum results early in the morning of June 24th was a gutpunch and I've never really caught my breath again. (Mostly because the Tories/Theresa May/Brexiteers keep refusing to treat us migrants as people, preferring to regard us as bargaining chips... and they're so bad at bargaining.)
I live here now. I have friends here! And a yoga studio and a hairdresser and a weekday morning running loop and a selection of weekend long runs and a job and a dentist and I've spent longer here in an unbroken streak than anywhere else in my adult life. (I lived for longer in a Stockholm suburb with my ex, but did a year in Japan in the middle.)
It's familiar, it's safe, it's pleasant. I don't dislike our flat - I wish it had a better view (any view!), and I wish the bedroom wasn't right on the street, and I wish we had a garden or something - but it suits our needs and the landlord is nice and it's got a dishwasher and a washing machine which I will now never be able to live without. And we've made it cozy and ours.
But there's no future here. We can never get on the property market - not in Cambridge, and not anywhere within a 30 minute commuting distance. I think the current property prices exceed 10 times an average yearly salary. Even for us DINKs, that's... not really feasible. And that's not even going into how small and dark and cold British flats are. (These are facts: Britain has the smallest living space per person in Europe. A lot of British houses don't even have double glazing. And possibly due to that, or due to legacy "window tax" issues, there are generally fewer and less generous windows than I'm used to.)
And jobs-wise, Skuld might keep getting promoted, but I've worked myself into a situation where there's no room higher up in the organisation, and I don't have enough experience to take the step to management anyway. Plus I've got a foreign degree in my field, and no experience of the local system, which means I can't ever get a foot in the library door here without taking a severe paycut.
Finally: I miss living close to actual nature where you can roam off the beaten track and there are lakes where you can swim in the summer and skate in the winter and you can pick berries and mushrooms and flowers. Here we have cultivated parks and a slow meandering river you can follow up to the point where personal properties cut pedestrians off, and then it's just fields. Sweden has so much nature. And you're allowed in all of it! We have an amazing law called allemansrätten. I never understood what an amazing gift this law is until I lived in countries with fences and PRIVATE PROPERTY NO TRESPASSING signs and conversations like "there's a nice view up here but we shouldn't get out of the car because the landowners don't like it". I mean, look at this from Wikipedia:
( Basically the only places you can't go camping is in peoples gardens and protected areas like bird sanctuaries. )
So there's plenty of reasons to long for Sweden (including the summer nights I keep going on about), but to actually move there? And not be here anymore? So strange. I can stay in touch with friends online, but where will I find a hairdresser as nice as George, or a yoga teacher as patient as Kathy? Where will I buy my kewpie mayo and frozen karaage and other necessities? There's no UNIQLO in Sweden (yet, maybe) so that's half my wardrobe I can't replace. And will I not regret this move when it's mid-April and sleeting, and instead of being out running I'm online looking at friends' beautiful shots of gardens in bloom and green grass in Cambridge.
Because the grass is always greener, and all that...
(The exception to the rule is Kyoto, which I've always felt lived up to all my love for it. It will always be the first city of my heart, and one day I hope to spend some time there again.)
What gets my attention is this detail as quoted:
"The British Columbia Supreme Court approved her suit, but the provincial Court of Appeal stayed the case, saying it should properly be pursued in California, where Facebook has its head office.
In its 4-3 split decision, however, the Supreme Court found the clause unenforceable."
From Michael Geist:
My brain has been doing weird things the last couple of days. I could definitely be worse, but it's still annoying, and also not making it easy to get stuff done. I'm hoping to fix that today, so we'll see what happens. I really want to watch things, but I keep telling myself to do things first, so that may or may not ever actually happen. Also on the list of things I can't do while getting stuff done: sleeping, reading, Flight Rising, and listening to the same two songs over and over.
I will learn how to focus someday. I swear I will. Maybe.
That one KSR about how if you send a generation ship filled with the learnedly ignorant, colonization will surely fail aside, are there any SF novels recent enough to use the exoplanets we now know of as settings?
I think I felt like that because I did spend the morning in my pajamas wasting time on Twitter. But also, I was fielding comments on a Lib Dem Voice article introducing our new group, Lib Dem Immigrants (which I am super excited about). Unfortunately, anything about immigration attracts some trolls, even if it's as innocuous as "here's a new internal party body" (I did like that we also got a comment saying "we waste too much time on internal party shit!"). I found this set of comments dismaying for an interesting new kind of separating the wheat-from-the-chaff approach to immigration: even the people telling me they want to end freedom of movement and other such things tell me that they support me having rights, and right away, because I married a British citizen. Hm.
Anyway, I eventually made myself do a bit of tidying, sort out the room booking for Plus's AGM at Autumn Conference (which I don't know if I'll be able to go to because I can't afford accommodation, which is making me very sad), call up our soon-to-be-ex-home-insurance-company which gosh that phone call made me glad of because it was agonizing, get a Plus parcel ready to post and send it off, go to the shops to buy boring things like a light bulb, stand precariously on a too-short ladder to replace the light bulb, go see my friend Katie for a couple of hours, come back via a different shop to buy dog poo bags which we were suddenly out of, and watch Lego Batman with Andrew which we'd been trying to find time and energy for all week.
That is an okay day. I didn't do all the things I wanted to do, but I did a lot of good things.
Today I'm going to see fictive-nephew (who's almost eight already, how is that even possible) in some local am-dram production, and then Games Night has restarted so I get to see my Brighouse people twice in three days! This should be a good day too.
I’m finally getting back to working on a new gateway/router server and I’m basically setting up this old-school sort of DMZ, with the rest of our servers hanging off one card, and our internal LAN/DHCP/NAT side hanging off the other. (Using ISC, which Debian seems to like.) And all of that seems to be right from the new server’s perspective, which is yay!
Except there’s no packet forwarding from the DHCP side even though it’s enabled and I’m sure I enabled it and yes the kernel thinks its enabled but it isn’t happening.
Any ideas where to start?